DKsGirl

My ankle is much better today. I knew resting it would be much better than pushing it.

I just did my exercise ball and some Pilates. As I was doing the workout, I realized how unfit I am and it makes me feel so stupid for letting myself turn into this person. Yes, I do have a long list of exercises, but it seems I can barely do any of them and that irritates me to no end!! I have to modify every exercise I do! I guess I’m just going through a phase right now. I think it may be PMS. I got on the scale yesterday for my weekly weigh and it was two pounds exactly to the ounce. Also I looked at my calendar and it should be any day now!! I never realized what was happening to me until this past year. I now realize that’s what made college so hard in the early 90’s. I could never make it because I would get so depressed and drop classes or the semester, only to feel better a few days after I started. But by then the damage was done. I started working and hated it because the job sucked!! Two years later I met the most wonderful man in the world when I decided to give school one more chance. I started the Art Institute of Houston (I miss my hometown) on August of ‘92. We met in August of ‘93 and were married in April of ‘94 and going strong today!! Actually, I think it’s better now!!

Anyway, I just feel so blah today and trying to fight the feeling to eat everything in sight is HARD!! At least I have somewhere to put my feelings now and not have them bottled up inside. Maybe that’s why I had such a hard time before. Hubby will sit on the couch and listen to all my ranting and raving, sometimes crying. He never makes excuses to do something else. He’s a gem!!

Thank goodness I don’t have any candy or soda in the house. I might eat them all. Soda was my biggest weakness. I hardly ate much, but I drank my calories. I sometimes drank two 2-liter bottles a day of Dr. Pepper. It was easier to drink than to prepare food. But it was even easier to go through the drive-thru. Burger King was my weakness and sometimes I would order two “King-Sized” meals and eat them in my car so no one could see me. I haven’t had a soda in two months and the cravings were hard in the beginning and today they are BAD!! Oh, did I mention the headache that lasted for almost a week?!?!?! That sucked!! Another problem is my husband co-owns a Coney Island with his buddy and that is hard when I surprise him sometimes during the day.

Well it seemed I had a little rant and rave session and now it’s over. I feel bit better and should make it through the day. Please send me good vibes today so I don’t break down. I know I said I never deny myself, but an alcoholic can’t have one drink and be OK. That’s how I am with soda, It’s all or nothing and I prefer nothing.

Hugs to all of you!!